Why Do I Do This To Myself? (P.S: I Know Some Of Y'all Do It Too)

So the other day I was watching this amazing video of an X-Factor UK audition by a girl named Louisa Johnson, which made me cry. And then I clicked on related videos on YouTube...and an hour later, my eyes were completely swollen from watching an assortment of videos including talent show auditions and soldiers returning home to surprise their kids.


Why did I do this?!?! And why am I not the only one? It's not even that I'm sad watching these videos. I'm just...emotional. I think that Kristen Bell's comments on her Epic Sloth Meltdown says it best:

Basically, just like Kristen, I'll cry if I'm too sad, and I'll cry if I'm too happy.

While I'm fairly indifferent to sloths, I can tell you that I shed buckets of tears when I watch talent show audition videos, inspiring human interest stories of overcoming challenges, reactions of kids who are surprised by the appearance of their military moms or dads, or The Notebook.

The worst part is that I sometimes seek this footage out. Like, I want to cry. This strange, almost masochistic behavior, isn't that peculiar. All I'm saying is, I KNOW a lot of y'all do it too.

I like to think that I do it because it's really cathartic. A lot of people would define me as stoic or stubbornly positive (really, someone has described me this way before). But I do experience fear, anxiety, and despair just like any other human being...I just find it hard to be vulnerable with other human beings.

So in the privacy of my own home, watching Susan Boyle killing her epic audition or watching a mother-of-the-bride give a beautiful gift to her daughter before she walks down the aisle, I give myself permission to feel. It's a special brand of satisfaction, I swear.

There is also something to be said for the feeling of elation after the tears. An intense feeling of gratitude for the good bits in my life, or (as the young folks say) having my "faith in humanity restored" usually follows a good cry. Apparently research has found this to be an actual thing that happens, so I'm not crazy!

So give yourself permission to cry, and thank me later for all the videos I've linked to in this post ;)


  1. I get what you mean. My threshold for tears is probably not quite at your level, but if I see or hear something particular good that is worth crying over... in a GOOD way... it feels so refreshing and gives such a feeling of release to let it out.


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