Notes On Single Motherhood: An Introduction

I became a single mother about 3 years ago. December 27, 2010, was a life-changing day for me. In the months preceding the divorce, everything felt like a fog. Things didn’t become clear until I walked out of that courtroom a new divorcee. Janda. Single mother with two babies.

It’s still kind of absurd to me that I became a divorcee in my 20s. In some ways it is amusing – I’ve always done everything right. Always the over-achiever. Two kids, a degree, and a loving husband, all before most of my peers had even thought about getting married. And yet the one thing that I felt I had completely failed at was the one thing that I treasured the most – my perfect family.

My story is not unique. If anything, I’ve found that single motherhood has become all too common among my peers. I get at least one message a week from friends, acquaintances and, sometimes, total strangers who are going through divorce, who ask me: “How will I survive this? Will it ever get better?”

3 years ago, I would not have been able to give you any answers. There were days I was completely crippled by fear. There were days where I had to pretend that nothing bad was happening, because living in fantasy land was the only way I could survive the day. I felt ashamed, stigmatized, misunderstood…and with time, I realized that it was mostly all in my head.

The third most searched term when you type my name into Google is “Adriana Thani divorce”. So I am well aware that people are curious about the circumstances surrounding my divorce. It’s no secret (anyone who meets me and asks me about it will receive a brief but honest answer) but it’s not something I think I’d share in such a public forum.

I am, however, prepared to share my experiences on how I coped. Notes On Single Motherhood will answer those questions that new single mothers, or those contemplating separation, have asked me time and again. The past three years have offered me so many life lessons, and I think it’s time I pass it on!

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