I've been seeing this concept of "to-be lists" all over my Facebook feed as the New Year approaches. People are thinking more about what they want "to be" than what they want "to do" next year. It got me thinking about how, as a naturally goal-oriented person, I put too little stock into my well-being when I plan things. It's always about the achievement above all else - even my health sometimes! So with that in mind, I've decided to share my own "to be" list for next year.
- SpontaneousI am a planner. I plan everything. I have alarms set throughout the day to make sure I'm on time, I have a weekly meal plan, and to-do lists that never get completely done. I wasn't always a planner - before kids, I would do all sorts of things without planning ahead. I secretly still enjoy it when plans fall apart and I have to improvise (even though I have a mild anxiety attack first!). I'd like to be more spontaneous next year, though. Routines and plans are absolutely necessary when you have three kids, but there's always room for more spontaneous adventures, especially for us as a family.
While I was pregnant with Adam, I spent a lot of time settling into my life here. Nesting was all I wanted to do - being at home, preparing it for the new person entering our lives. Now that he's here, I've realized just how much of a homebody I've become! To be fair, I still do cherish my alone time (although I'm never actually alone anymore ever...) but I really want to be more social in the new year. I dread going out and socializing, and I'm always dragging my feet when I make plans to finally do it, but once I'm out of the house I always have a grand old time and wonder why I don't do it more often!
This is a big one. I'm always telling people to remember the Oxygen Mask Rule, but I break that rule so much! It's not in my nature to put myself first, but to be of service to the people that need me, I need to be in tip-too condition myself. Also, let's be real here - any time I don't get enough rest or time to do things I enjoy, I'm a pretty shitty wife and mother. It sounds harsh, but the moment I do things out of sheer obligation, everyone can tell that I'm not doing it out of love. It shows, even if I don't want it to! So I need to take care of my needs so I can be the wife and mother all my boys deserve. To be self-loving isn't the same as being selfish - I need to remind myself of that!
As a mother in this day and age, we are expected to be constantly on the go. To have multiple plates spinning at once, as they say. But what happens is that I spend so much time doing stuff - school pick-ups and drop-offs, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc etc - that I forget to focus on the people I'm doing that stuff for. Also, as much as I try to not stare at my phone screen too much (like I am now), I'm pretty sure I do. So I want to be more present for my children. I want to be able to stop saying, "Not right now, baby, I'm busy." (By the way, yes, I write most of my blog posts on my phone. It's the only way I can get it done these days lol).
*Notebook featured in photo is by Zazzle and is available HERE.