Notes On Single Motherhood: Three years


Three years.

Three years since freedom.

Three years since independence.

Three years since rebirth.

Three years since it's been just us three.

Here's a little backstory to the significance of this date (27th December). See, when I was still married, the wedding anniversary fell on Christmas - 25th December - of every year. The fact that the divorce-sary is so close to that date was purely coincidental and unplanned (in fact, we were due to be in court in January, but the date was brought forward, which I was and still am very glad about!).

I've always celebrated this day with introspection and a good bit of blessing-counting. This year is no different. I've been very very very blessed all my life - any misfortune was often short-lived and filled with hidden blessings - but these past three years I feel as if I have (undeservedly) been showered by countless blessings, which include:

  • My people (mah peeps for short). I can't express how grateful I am to the people in my life who have been there for me through thick and thin, and I sure do hope they don't get sick of me saying it!
  • Kind, loving men who have been my romantic partners in the past three years (some relationships were more short-lived than others, but I was very fortunate that most of the men have been very very sweet and never ever jerks). The few that were introduced to the children - and there really have only been less than a handful - have continued to stay in their hearts and our lives, and for that I am also very grateful. More importantly, I feel very blessed to have met the person I am with now, who fills our days with joy and laughter and funny foreign slang. You're grouse, mate! (I am usually very shy to talk about this aspect of my life, but I owe it to my faithful blog readers to slowly write about this, because it is a very very popular question that new single moms ask me!)
  • Realizing the degree of my resilience and tenacity, and the empowerment that comes with that realization. As with all human beings, I have my moments of hopelessness and despair. But those moments are few and far between these days, and I am glad for that. There are many lessons I hope still to learn in this department, as I remain thoroughly thin-skinned most days, especially with strangers (I am not snobbish, just shy! So if you see me, come say hi).
  • My faith and spirituality, which I have learned is my own and mine alone. 
  • My light, my life, my heart, my soul -- my wonderful children. They remain the main focus of my life, and the main source of joy. As far as they remember, it's always been the three of us. And that's how it will stay for quite a while, I think. And that is fine by me :)