Mom-petitions: The bane of a mother's social life

I hate mom-petitions, and the moms who participate in them - "mom-petitors", I call them.

Now, just to be clear, I'm not talking about moms who enter their kids' photos in blog contests and giveaways, or to a magazine. That's fine by me. I'm not talking about moms who blog about their kids either - your blog is yours to write what you please, and if it means talking all about your lil one all the time, by all means, do it! I actually enjoy reading those blogs. I don't even mean the moms who take part in mom pageants - honestly, I wish I had the guts to join those.

What I am talking about is the moms who go out of their way to talk about their kids in relation to other moms' (preferably inferior) kids. You know what I'm talking about, right? Don't deny it!

These are the moms who will call you with the apparent purpose of "just catching up" but will somehow steer the conversation towards the kids' development. The subsequent conversation would go something like this:

Mom-petitor: "So what is your little guy able to do now?".

You (very geniunely and sincerely answering her question - so naive!): "Oh, he's already sitting up on his own/crawling/cruising!"

Mom-petitor (almost unable to suppress the glee in their voice): "Oh really?? Well my guy is already walking".

You: "Err...That's great!" (thinking to self: "OMG is my child developmentally challenged??!??!")

Mom-petitor (with a voice dripping with fake sympathy): "Oh, I'm sure its no problem...every child develops at his own pace, you know".

The conversation will usually end on that note since she will have "won" that battle and would like to now bask in the glory of being #1 Mom in her head.



I must admit, I think we all have that  natural curiosity about how well our kids are doing developmentally, compared to other kids. But most of us manage to stop ourselves from deliberately pitting our kids against each other because, really, whose battle is it? The kids couldn't care less! Its us moms who feel so insecure, when in actuality our kids developmental milestones have got little to do with our standard of parenting. No matter what we do, a kids is gonna walk when he is prepared to, grow his first tooth when he's ready, and learn to potty when he's willing to make the effort.

There is no point in going crazy over whether your child is reaching his milestones on time, or late, or exceedingly early. So don't play the mom-petition game. All it does is increase your self-esteem temporarily at the price of making another mom worry unnecessarily.

Even worse, if this kind of mom-petition goes on till the child gets older, it will affect the children significantly. ad We've all borne witness to that aunty down the road who comes over just to tell our mom that her son got straight A's in his exams, and wants to know how many A's you got. Or your mom's cousin who "complains" that her daughter doesn't spend enough time with her because she's so busy practicing to be a world-class pianist. How did that make you feel?

So do us all a favor and think before you speak. Let our generation be the one with cool moms who are there to support, encourage and love each other, mother-to-mother. Because  we are the only ones who "get it" and have the power to change this mom-petition mindset that is synonymous with the culture of "aunties" past.

Glam mamas don't need mom-petitions to prove their glamourous-ness! We're glam as we are, and there's nothing mom-petitions can do to prove otherwise ;D