So, its been a little while since my last post. I warned y'all early on - there are gonna be times when I can't update because the kids are sick - and that's exactly what happened. Both lads had the flu, and it was Afraz' first time getting sick (7.5mos is a pretty impressive amount of time for a baby to be perfectly healthy and I couldn't be happier about that!), so it was a pretty hard week. Fortunately, I had no class the first Saturday of their flu due to Diwali holidays, so hubby and I could look after them ourselves...although we were a little disappointed that our entire weekend was gone to giving the kids warm sponge-baths and administering medicine in a torture-like manner (if you were to go by the pitch and volume of their screams). Thankfully, both kids are much better now and are back to fighting over toys and crying if I leave a room (who knew separation anxiety could hit a 2.5yr old and 7.5mo old at the same time?).
Aside from nursing the kids back to health (in the literal sense in the littlest one's case), I did manage to get in some knitting time. Its much easier to drop my knitting when the kids need me compared to lifting my laptop off my lap, onto the coffee table, and crawling down to get them. Most of my time, however, was spent cuddling the little guys and making them laugh.
I notice that making them laugh just gets their mind off the pain, whether it is because they are sick, or bumped into something, or just having a plain ole temper tantrum (having a toddler means plenty of the latter). After all, they say laughter is the best medicine. Plus it helps me not get too stressed out myself. Sometimes while one or both of them are crying, I can feel my blood pressure starting to rise and my patience running thin. But then I take a deep breath and think: what would yelling do to the situation? More often than not, getting angry, yelling, etc, will only serve to release your frustration slightly and make the situation all the more dramatic and prolonged.
What I try to do is take everything with a dollop of humor and a huge dose of a reality check. The fact of the matter is, kids get frustrated just like we do sometimes - they are smaller, weaker and don't have much say in what goes on in their lives - the only difference is, we can control our reactions, and they can't. I try to keep that mind when the kids are whining or crying or doing both at once.
The truth is, "ideal" is not always "real". It would be much easier, much more convenient, if our kids listened to and obeyed everything we say, but the reality is that it would be pretty weird if a kid did that. Children need to assert their independence and fight for what they want...after all, as they get older, we can't be there all the time telling them what to do. They're gonna have to figure life out for themselves eventually, and the only way they can do that is by having a mind of their own.
That being said, I know it isn't that easy to stay centered and patient when your kids are pushing all your buttons. I think it helps to practice breathing, mantras, etc when all is calm, and not wait to do so when your child is in mid-tantrum. I also subscribe to the Daily Groove newsletter so that I get excellent, thought-provoking, and to-the-point ideas about how to handle my kids.
Anyway, I better end this entry since my toddler is singing this new song while banging on the piano. It involves screaming "MAH-MEE, MAH-MEEEEEEEEEE!!!" at the top of his lungs, so I'm guessing that its for me? That thought alone makes the screaming bearable :D